I move fast, just ask my children. I usually walk ahead of my family in public and take pride in weaving through crowds quickly. I have no patience in waiting. My dad was similar in nature, and it bugged me; yet I do the same and bother my children. I just want to go and get things done. Which is why it’s difficult for me to be patient, especially while waiting.
Looking back on my life, I see God has led me to periods of waiting. I didn’t always learn the important lesson of patience in waiting, so He kept giving me opportunities. Thus, I’m learning.
There are times to move quickly in life with a sense of urgency. This is my default and it’s useful as a nurse and on my daily cardio walk. However, there are moments and seasons to slow down with lessons to learn in the waiting rooms of life. For the last twenty years since losing my mom, those lessons about patience, being present, and living life fully have multiplied.
Lessons Learned
Hindsight is 20/20 as the adage goes and I see how moving fast with my selfish urgency to get things done caused me to miss things. I missed signs of my mom’s impending health issues. I missed being present with others in a meaningful way. And I missed the peace and beauty found in the small moments I often rushed through. Here are five of the lessons I’ve learned about patience in waiting (so far):
- Plowing through isn’t the most effective (or kind). Yes, the squeaky wheel gets attention, but often at the cost of being annoying. I’ve been annoying and not as kind in my rush to plow through whatever it is at the time. It’s not the example I want to set for my children, so I’m trying to go slower, and they are wonderful examples of this to me. I’m learning to be effective while patient and kind in the process.
- Smelling the roses brings beautiful, meaningful moments. It’s amazing how losing people brings clarity to their significance in our lives. I’ve grieved many lost family members and friends over the years, and the process doesn’t get easier. But it does bring clarity and the desire to stop and smell the roses as the saying goes. Make the small moments matter, whenever they come, with the people and in the places that are important. We will never return to those moments, so let’s be present in them.
- Positive produces positive. Growing up with a worrying mom taught me how to worry. But that constant state of dread exhausted me to the point where I made efforts to shift my negative, worrisome nature and help my mom to as well. She didn’t have enough time here on Earth to fully accomplish that shift, but I am determined to do it for myself. But it’s a purposeful, often moment by moment, choice to be more positive. When I am, I don’t feel the need to rush. I’m more peaceful and present, desiring to be more positive moving forward. Positive begets positive and this posture is better for my brain, overall health, and everyone around me.
- Sometimes, interruptions are okay (and can be from God). In productivity, interruptions are often disruptive and should be deferred if possible. In my “get it done” brain, this is how I view interruptions. Some interruptions are necessary-emergencies come to mind-but other times they are okay too. Life’s interruptions can even lead to detours and a whole new trajectory in life God often uses interruptions, big and small, to teach and lead me where He wants me to go. So, I’m learning to notice, pay attention, and discern whether I need to shift my focus to them. It’s enlightening and has led me to places, experiences, and people I would not have chosen for myself.
- Ask God for what you want, and He provides opportunities. After my mom passed away, I missed her terribly and wanted the future I envisioned with her back. But that wasn’t possible. So, I asked God what was next, and He gave me opportunities. My vision wasn’t His and He pushed me to learn even more lessons about patience in waiting. I followed with MemoryMinders being one result with a myriad of lessons I’m continuing to learn. More opportunities and lessons followed, and one thing is constant: when we ask God for what we want, He provides opportunities to learn and mold us into who He wants us to be.
Patience is a Virtue
I’m learning the meaning of this phrase. Being patient allows me to be fully present in my life and appreciate all God has given and continues to teach me. Patience is a virtue, an asset I’m trying to steward well, especially as I age. Instead of rushing, I’m trying to go slower, be more positive, present, and aware of what and where God is directing me. Even while waiting. It’s a process that will continue all my days. But I pray my lessons learned will help others realize there’s beauty, hope, love, and memorable moments when we lean into patience in waiting.